Sorrow rises up from the bottom of

A lake that lies in the center of my heart.

The lake has been there since the

Beginning of my life…my birth.

It was small in the beginning,

But time has added many pockets

Of sadness to the rippling surface of

The water, increasing it’s size.

It’s boundaries expand to take in

More pain, more hurt, and uncertainty.

The energy it takes, to hold back the force

Of all that misery and senseless grief,

Yearns to release  the sorrow in the open air.

Abandonment, betrayal of all that one holds dear,

And loss of freedom, in a prison of sorts, that lasted

Eight long years, and every day filled with aching

Loneliness, and a longing for love that did not come,

Left its toll on a heart that only wanted to give.

Youth, the launching of a great career, and marriage,

Kept the surface of the water calm and the self at rest.

But the passage of time brought losses and grief.

One by one the losses disturbed the peaceful calm

Of the lake lying in the center of my heart.

Now age robs me of, the energy I once had;

And the loss of a job and money I once made,

Makes my life difficult to accept and endure.

Illness affects my mind and body every day.

Loved ones have gone and friends have disappeared.

People say, “Think positive thoughts, and pray.

God is all you need. Be self-reliant and be strong.

It will be OK., the future lies ahead. Love is on its way.”

“Now is all I have. My body’s tired, and my life is done.”

This I say, and “I’m not sure, there is another day.”

They can not see such platitudes do nothing when

Hope no longer wants to live at my address.

Courage is, I think, going on when all hope is gone.

Yu/stan/kema