Pain grabs my heart with cruel hands and squeezes all the air out of my battered lungs and leaves me short of breath. When did I allow you to slip inside the chambers of my heart? When did I begin to let you in to see the tears I could not weep? How could I so easily forget the lessons learned from years of  hurt?

I wanted to believe I could receive love, that agape love could find its way to me. I wanted to be heard and cherished for myself. I wanted my existence to matter in this troubled world.

I’ve learned  instead, my existence needs to matter more to me, than you. My existence matters to God. Those that cannot understand my message, or my journey, will always be on earth with me. I must focus my attention toward those who will accept me as I am. It is ok for me to grieve for those who do not understand.

Yu/stan/kema