The title, For Love Of Self, may seem odd, but I grew up always taking care of other people and receiving very little from others. My needs were always at the bottom of the pile. I was indoctrinated by my family from an early age to focus on what others demanded or needed. If I asked for anything, I was ignored or told to stop being selfish. Living with such a life script did not make for healthy relationships. Having low self-esteem only made navigating my world more difficult.

Recently, I have experienced some very positive things from other people. It is amazing how your life can change when you start hanging around people who make a genuine effort to understand you and “get you.” By that, I mean people who have the ability to empathize, have compassion, and are able to understand why you are thinking and feeling the way you are. You find yourself not being judged, but accepted for who you are at any given moment in time. What this does is validate your own internal reality.

It is comforting to be with people who make it so easy to just be you. In fact, you are encouraged to be the “real you.” There is peace in these relationships instead of distress. When people give you feedback, it helps you see things from a different perspective and enlarges your experience of  external reality. There is less anxiety in these types of relationships. You end up  focusing on your needs  instead of theirs.

You are encouraged to feel your emotions, sit with your thoughts, and observe your reactions. You are taught how to calm and comfort yourself, but you feel like you are being comforted by them too in words, expressions, and accepting behaviors. There is a giving and a taking between people of equal power who recognize a shared humanity. Your ability to solve problems and gain mastery over your emotions is met with encouragement, validation, and affirmations. Being able to enjoy the here and now is a goal. Understanding, feedback, openness, and  encouragement helps you accomplish goals. Giving you the skills to manage your environment and your internal world helps to stabilize your life. I now understand the meaning of the words: sometimes God closes a door because He has something better in mind for you.

I am grateful for this time of healing and renewal. In this moment in my life, I feel blessed and have discovered joy. I feel gratitude towards God for this. I am thankful for those he sends to do His will: to heal those who are in need of healing and to show His love for those who are in need of care.

Yu/stan/kema