Anger sometimes serves a purpose. I’ve hated anger all my life as an emotion. Probably because in my childhood, I saw others do such terrible things when angry. I also did any thing I could to avoid conflict. My role as a professional taught me how to deal with conflict and anger successfully. The only time I have some difficulty now is when I feel anger toward people I care about. I still hesitate at times, but I am able to be assertive when I need to. I’ve learned over time that unresolved anger can cause damage to the body and the soul. But I’ve also learned that sometimes it is wise to wait until a better time to talk about what is upsetting you when anger arises, because the emotions are too high for anyone to think rationally. There are times, however, when things must be dealt with immediately. Anger can cause problems and it can be helpful.

The times when anger tends to create more problems is when you know you have lost control or the other person has. Trying to talk then is futile because feelings become bigger than thoughts. Anger causes problems when you get frustrated or irritable with yourself but you take it out on anyone that comes within ten yards of you. You yell or make remarks you shouldn’t to others which causes hard feelings. When you do so, people can assume you are unpredictable. It can cause them to distance from you. Anger causes problems if you abuse others when you are angry. In some instances, verbal abuse comes across as just as damaging as physical abuse. To call people demeaning names or yell at them with great intensity is frightening to them. Not only do you hurt their heart, but you also hurt their souls. Physical abuse is always harmful no matter what triggered your emotion. Not only does it hurt the body, but it can also kill love and damage someone else’s spirit. It most certainly destroys trust and a sense of security. Often, when angry, we do things we regret later. It is easy to tear up things, throw people out, bring other relatives or friends into the situation, and even hit a wall. That tends to escalate the situation.

Anger can be beneficial at times. It’s useful in helping you set boundaries with others, or stand up and tell loved ones what you need and want. Anger is helpful in telling others they’ve hurt your feelings. It  is a useful tool in separating from some people in order to become more self-reliant. Anger is useful when you have to protect yourself or your integrity when danger is present. It can be used in combating fear. Anger can also serve as an energy source to get things done when necessary.

The important thing is not to deny anger, cut off from it, or lose control of it. It is better to study it, embrace it, learn to accept it, and deal with it effectively.

Yu/stan/kema