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REFLECTIONS OF A MINDFUL HEART AND SOUL

~ Articles, Quotations, Poetry, Humor, and Resources to Feed the Hungry Soul..

REFLECTIONS OF A MINDFUL HEART  AND SOUL

Monthly Archives: July 2015

The Value of Trauma Informed Care In Working With People.

31 Friday Jul 2015

Posted by Yu/stan/kema in Article., Books, photo, Psychology

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Building on the client's skills., Building trust., Empowering the client., Facebook timeline photo, Kinds of trauma, Trauma Informed Care., Validating the client.

Found on Facebook Timeline on 7-1-15.

Found on Facebook Timeline on 7-1-15.

Just recently I came across some of these resources  on Trauma Informed Care after another colleague pointed me in the right direction. I knew a lot about it because it was how I did therapy when I was actively working as a professional. I did what I felt made sense based on my own experiences with Trauma.  I didn’t have a name for what I did. I just knew the principles and values worked for me and others I worked with over the years.  What  Trauma Informed Care seeks to do is remind us how prevalent trauma actually is in the lives of these around us. We have a habit of trying to put trauma into categories. What we often overlook is that trauma is experienced by everyone in a different way. As an example: Two people can lose a father. On the outside, they may seem to be doing ok but internally, it is often a different story. Each person has their own childhood memories of who and what Daddy is. What kind of current relationship they had with the Father before he died makes a difference. Did the person depend on the father  for money, emotional support, guidance, status, or acceptance?

How old the person is makes a difference and what developmental stage they are in effects outcomes. What kind of social support does each person have? Does he have a Faith that can help sustain him? Was he proud or ashamed of his father? Did he love him or hate him? What kind of impact will the death have on his own life or life style. Will his role in the family change because his father died? As you can see, so many factors enter in. His coping skills for dealing with loss and change also influence the outcome. Past violence and victimization will have a significant impact in the loss and the feeling of helplessness.

Too often with losses, we tend to want a person’s reaction to be over as soon as possible, because we do not want to deal with our uncomfortable feelings and we don’t want to dwell on the new awareness that we too will one day die. Losses that can end up traumatizing people are: Divorce, a child taken away from his parents, the loss of a job, unfairness and bullying happening at work, poverty, child abuse, domestic violence, Church conflict or being thrown out of the Church, auto accidents, deaths, illness, and many other losses

Instead of pathologizing, we need to validate the emotions and thoughts they are having. We need to normalize a lot of what they are experiencing. We will build trust and the feeling that it’s OK for them to tell us how things are really going with them. Helping them recover is a priority after their world has been turned upside down. It is important to help them take charge of their life, to be involved in the treatment plan, and to allow them to have choices and control of their lives in the treatment setting. The work needs to build on their strengths, increase their social networks and resources, and teach new coping skills. Empowerment of the person should be the  consistent focus of treatment and enabling them to regain a sense of hope in the future. Below are some resources on Trauma Informed Care.

Yu/stan/kema

Resources

Fallot, Roger D. (1-28-11). Trauma-Informed Care: A Values-Based Context for Psychosocial Empowerment.

Elliott, Denise E.; Paula B.; Elajac; Fallar, Roger; Markoff, Laurie S.; and Glover Reed, Beth. ( July/2005).  Journal Of Community Psychology. Trauma Informed or Trauma Denied: Principles of Trauma-Informed Services for Women.

Wisconsin Trauma-Informed Care Advisory Committee. Dept. of Health Services, State of Wisconsin.P-00202.  (6/2013). The Values of Trauma-Informed Care.

Hodas, GR. Pennsylvania Office of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services. (Feb./2006). Part II of the Promise and Practice of Trauma Informed Care.

God’s Love Moves In Mysterious Ways.

30 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by Yu/stan/kema in Article., photo, quote

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Brigitte Nicole, God moves in Our lives., Google+ photo., Jonathan Usher., pinterest picture quote, special people

Found on G+ on 7-14-15. Jonathan Usher. Stingray Peninsula.

Found on G+ on 7-14-15. Jonathan Usher. Stingray Peninsula.

There are people who come into your life who bring a calmness with them. They demand nothing from you. All that they ask is that you listen to them, to the Self inside you, and to God. Your anxiety fades away in their presence. They do not demand perfection from you nor do they steal your power. They enable you to find the strength and power that lies within you. They give without asking anything in return. They accept you as you are. They see in you all the beautiful things you are too blind to see. They come to heal the wounded heart that  hides within you. They come to bring peace to your troubled soul. Because of them, hope is rekindled. The chaos stops. The gift of God’s love flows through them to you.

Yu/stan/kema 

Found on Pinterest on 3-16-15.

Found on Pinterest on 3-16-15. Brigitte Nicole.

All Theories Relating To Human Behavior Have Value.

28 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by Yu/stan/kema in Article., Books, photo, Psychology

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Abraham Maslow, Carl Jung, Client's needs., David Burns., Erik Erikson, Harry Stack Sullivan, John Bowlby, Karen Horney, Person-in-environment Theory, Pinterest photo, Psychological theories of human behavior., Sigmund Freud, Viktor Frankl.

I have been a professional for more than thirty years and then I retired.  I’ve seen a lot of people with all kinds of diagnoses, worked in many different kinds of settings, and it has all been very valuable experience.  Some theories made a lot of sense to me. Others I threw out because they didn’t seem to have much value at the time.  Because of my own personal experiences, it was easy to see how Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs fit into the reasons why people did what they did.  Bowlby’s Theory of Attachment  was also easy to understand after living in Children’s Homes. Erik Erikson’s  Developmental Stages of the Life Cycle also made sense to me in terms of my childhood years, and I saw the stages  being played out in my son’s life while raising him. I grew up reading  Sigmund Freud on Psychoanalysis and the importance of childhood in forming us as adults. Carl Jung’s works on dreams and Karen Horney’s Inner Conflict Theory of Neurosis I could relate to.. I could attest to having experienced inner conflict in my life. Harry Stack Sullivan’s work on Interpersonal Theory made sense as I looked around me and observed relationships. Viktor Frankl ‘s  Existential Theory was inspirational and helpful. David Burns books on Depression were very practical and useful for the people I worked with.

I could go on forever about theories and books. The important thing I want to get across is: Psychotherapy and Theories of Human Behavior are many, because one size does not fit all. What will work with one person may fall flat with another. Each person is unique. Each person has his/her own issues to resolve. Each comes with his/her own family history which changes how you work with any person. I have found it very useful to understand people in their environment, to look at cultural values, religion, family, resources they have or don’t have, coping skills, their capacity for hope, their social networks, and their willingness to work hard to get to a better place psychologically. I look for losses and how grief has affected them. I assess the level of pain and hurt they are feeling and how they are coping with that. 

Diagnoses are things we have to make in order to work with insurance companies.  I think it takes time to really know someone in order to make a good diagnosis. Even then, with good therapy, that can change. Every person changes over time depending upon who and what he comes in contact with. We would do far better to focus more on hurt, sadness, hope, the feeling of belonging, self-worth, and strengths people have, as well as increase their coping skills.  These  things are the real issues, not whether you are borderline personality disorder or all the other stuff its easy to get caught in. People want to relate to therapists as human beings. They need feedback and the right to ask questions and get answers instead of the run around. They want to be confronted gently, and they want to discuss their strengths. They are in need of focused attention from you. Chances are they will never get it anywhere else. They want to feel emotionally safe with you, that their needs, at that time, will be addressed by you and not ignored. They want boundaries set when they are needed and fair. They need to be involved with their treatment plan, be given choices, a sharing of power. Most of all, they need kindness, consistency, respect, empowerment, and skills taught to them. These are the most important needs they have when they come to you.

Yu/stan/kema

Living A Balanced Life Using DBT Skills.

28 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by Yu/stan/kema in Article., Books, Photos, quote

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Tags

DBT Skills Training., G+ photo, III, Living a Balanced Life., Marsha M. Linehan, Peter Holmes, pinterest picture quote

Found on Pinterest on 7-25-15.

Found on Pinterest on 7-25-15.

I am learning all about balance. Most of my life I have never been half-hearted in my emotions. It is usually all or nothing.  Now I am learning its nice to be somewhere in the middle. It’s more peaceful that way,  and I will probably live longer.  DBT Skills are helpful in learning to do this. Having a good teacher helps a lot. Try out a class in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills).  It can be useful in learning how to tolerate distress and regulate emotions. It also teaches interpersonal effectiveness skills as well as Mindfulness skills. If you can’t do a group, there is a book of handouts you can order at a Bookstore near you. Marsha M. Linehan has written a manual and a book of handouts.

Yu/stan/kema 

Books

Linehan,Marsha M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual, Second Edition. New York: The Guilford Press.

Linehan, Marsha M. (2015).  DBT Sills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition. New York: The Guilford Press.

Found on G+ on 7-20-15. Photography by Peter Holmes III, 3935.

Found on G+ on 7-20-15. Photography by Peter Holmes III, 3935.

You Are Worth Much More.

27 Monday Jul 2015

Posted by Yu/stan/kema in Article., Photos, Psychology, quote

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Doe Zantamata., Google+ photo., Juhi Sharma., letting go, pinterest picture quote, self-worth

Found on Pinterest on 7-25-15. Doe Zantamata. www.Quotes About Living.com.

Found on Pinterest on 7-25-15. Doe Zantamata. http://www.Quotes About Living.com.

In life, we sometimes hook up with people who don’t understand us or get us. We can explain and explain who we are and what we are over and over. We can give them information written by knowledgeable people, and they still don’t get us. There are times when we mistakenly think we are worth enough, that they will grow and develop into the people we have come to believe they are capable of. We think, because they can see we are good, decent, reliable human beings and have value, that will  motivate them to make the effort to get to know us and understand us.

But the hard cold reality is, the problem did not lie in us and it never did. Sometimes no matter how much we want to believe in someone’s capacity to love, to be fair, to be just, to grow professionally, we have to give up the hope of that happening. We do not have the tools to make that happen. That task must be done by them and they must use the tools available to them.

We can not carry their failure on our backs. Sometimes fear holds them back, or incorrect assumptions they’ve made about us, or they are not driven to be or do more than they actually want to do to just get by. When there exists such a value difference between two people, the chances of a miracle happening is small.

To let go is difficult when we believe in them. To walk away when we care is so hard to do. But sometimes we must move on, because we are worth more than staying to fight a battle we can never win. We are worth much more and deserve more than that.

Yu/stan/kema

Found on Google+ on 7-20-15. Juhi Sharma.

Found on Google+ on 7-20-15. Juhi Sharma.

.

Your Worth As A Human Being Exists Apart From Others.

25 Saturday Jul 2015

Posted by Yu/stan/kema in Photos, quote

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Being the real me., Google+ picture, pinterest picture quote, Ray Bilcliff

Found on Google+ on 7-20-15.Ray Bilcliff.

Found on Google+ on 7-20-15.Ray Bilcliff.

There are times in life when we have to risk everything in order to be ourselves. We do this because at the center of who we really are, there lies a hunger for authenticity.

Yu/stan/kema

Found on Pinterest on 7-4-15.

Found on Pinterest on 7-4-15.

TRUE FRIENDS FEED THE SOUL.

25 Saturday Jul 2015

Posted by Yu/stan/kema in Article., Photos, Psychology, Quotes

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Gigi Patraucean, Google+ photo., Goole + picture quote., True Friends

Found on Google+ on 7-18-15.

Found on Google+ on 7-18-15.

I know, for myself, the quote above is true. Someone can call himself a friend, but when hard times come, they vanish. The true friend seeks you out and addresses the hard things in life. He is honest with you and answers your questions. At times, he can treat you so gently. At others, he can be tough and tell you to get off your seat and get moving. The true friend has spent time getting to know the real you. He gets you in a way no one else does. Thank God for the real friends who are able to lead us out of the darkness and into the light. They nourish the soul.

Yu/stan/kema

Found on Google+ on 7-18-15. Gigi Patraucean.

Found on Google+ on 7-18-15. Gigi Patraucean.

Being Aware You Never Cared.

23 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by Yu/stan/kema in Poetry, spirituality

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Tags

betrayal, Daniel Humberto Flore's., Google+ photo., loss, Not caring., pinterest picture quote, poetry by Yu/stan/kema

Found on Google+ on 7-14-15. Daniel Humberto Flore's Photos.

Found on Google+ on 7-14-15. Daniel Humberto Flore’s Photos.

This heart beats an unsteady rhythm

When it remembers the joy I once had

Giving a flower to someone who made me glad

With gratitude.

This body remembers the tears that fell

When I grieved the loss of losing you

And discovered what about you wasn’t true

I thought I knew.

This soul remembers the agony that came

When promises were broken you once made

To a child who ended up feeling so afraid

You’d throw her away.

This mind remembers the darkness that fell

When I lost my faith in the goodness of me

And you destroyed what I thought I could be

If given a chance.

This part remembers you broke me in half

And never cried a tear and then you were gone.

You never looked back for you had  moved on

Leaving me behind, to grieve.

Yu/stan/kema

Found on Pinterest on 7-17-15.

Found on Pinterest on 7-17-15.

Child Of Mine.

23 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by Yu/stan/kema in Photos, Poetry, Psychology, spirituality

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Acceptance of feelings, Being real., God's love, Inner child., pinterest picture quote

Found on Pinterest on 7-20-15. Forgive yourself.....Positive Quotes.com on Betrayal.

Found on Pinterest on 7-20-15. Forgive yourself…..Positive Quotes.com on Betrayal.

Child of the day time

Where do you hide

When you feel fear

And you’re hurting inside?

Are you tired of wearing

The mask that others see?

Do you want acceptance

Being the “real me?”

What do you do

When you can’t get out?

And your mind is filled

With the seeds of doubt?

Who do you go to

When you’re filled with grief?

Who is there to cling to

When you need  relief?

Do you often pray

To the God above

To cover your heart

With His great Love?

One of these days

When you least expect

You’ll meet someone

Who won’t reject

The little girl who

Lives in you.

Yu/stan/kema

Redemption For The Soul.

22 Wednesday Jul 2015

Posted by Yu/stan/kema in Photos, Poetry, spirituality

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

God, google+ pictures, Maciej Markiewicz., mindfulness, nature, Pinterest photo, poetry by Yu/stan/kema, Redemption., soul

Found on Google + on 5-1-15. Maciej Markiewicz. Rainy day in Schwarzwaldo..

Found on Google + on 5-1-15. Maciej Markiewicz. Rainy day in Schwarzwaldo..

Found on Pinterest on 7-4-15.

Found on Pinterest on 7-4-15.

I moved through the forest with ease

Light footed and full of joy.

My ears caught the slight sounds

Of animals moving through the underbrush.

My eyes narrowed in a search for movement.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt

That I was part of the sweet-smelling earth

And a part of the circling sun.

The sky was a part of my hungry soul.

When sundown came and filled my world

With darkness and revealed the light

Of a thousand stars, I knelt upon

The  ground beneath my feet

And lit a fire to keep myself  alive

And  gave thanks to the God I knew

For providing me  a place

To come and worship Him

And lay at His feet the burdens

Of my trembling heart,

Sure of the knowledge that He

Would forgive me of  my sins

And set my humble spirit free.

Yu/stan/kema

Found on Google + on 3-20-15.

Found on Google + on 3-20-15.

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