We have had times in our lives when  people, who really matter to us, do some thing that hurts our feelings. Times when we have what we perceive as value differences or misunderstandings about what certain things mean.  We let our past learned interaction patterns of behavior take over and we soon become blinded by our own emotions. When pride rears up its ugly head, we become more planted in our stubbornness. Instead of focusing on what’s good in a relationship, we focus on the immediate situation at hand and think about something being black and white and discount the fact that in life, there is a lot of gray. This picture quote and poem say it all. Good relationships are filled with good times, struggles, and emotional pain. What is important, is to look at the whole history of the relationship and not just a few incidents. We all learn this is hard to do at times, but necessary for our growth.

IF I KNEW YOU AND YOU KNEW ME

If I knew you and you knew me

If both of us could clearly see,

And with an inner sight divine

The meaning of your heart and mine.

I’m sure that we would differ less

And clasp our hands in friendliness;

Our thoughts would pleasantly agree

If I knew you and you knew me….

As each one knows his own self, we

Could look each other in the face

And see therein a truer grace.

Life has so many hidden woes,

So many thorns for every rose;

The “why” of things our hearts would see,

If I knew you and you knew me.                                                                                                                                                                                                                            NIXON WATERMAN

Yu/stan/kema